Positive Thinking vs Positive Focusing

Posted by Leanne | September 17, 2008 .

Triplets Tina, Fiona and Betty get together at their favourite café for their 55th birthday.

After a 3 course meal they go for a walk to their favourite park and sit down for a chat.

Talk soon turns to their weight. To their surprise they discover that they all weigh 86kgs and they immediately start talking about losing weight. The triplets discuss their goals and all agree on a long term goal of getting down to 70kg.

This long term goal is a bit daunting, so they make a pact to lose 6kg in 10 weeks and then they will reward themselves with a one week holiday together and discuss their plans for continuing toward their longer term goal.

All 3 women are motivated and want to lose weight, and all 3 women are fairly positive but in different ways….

Positive Thinker - Tina
Tina goes home and tells her husband of the plan. He points out that losing 6kg may not make a lot of difference. Tina, being the positive thinker that she is puts time aside over the next 2 weeks to research the benefits of losing weight. Tina is pleased to find lots of information on the internet indicating significant health benefits to losing weight. Tina then decides to join a gym nearby and wonders what she should be looking for. After another week of research, Tina decides on a gym nearby that has some fun fitness classes that she knows she will enjoy.

Tina is bursting with motivation and joins the local Forever Change gym and in the first 2 weeks of joining, she does 5 classes per week. After 3 weeks at the gym Tina is so disappointed to find out that two of her favourite group fitness instructors have left the gym, and their replacements are nowhere near as good. Tina takes a week off from exercising to work through this issue and be positive about it. The following week Tina is back exercising again.

In week 7 of the 10 week period, Tina is really busy at work and only manages to go to the gym twice a week for the remainder of the 10 week period. photo credit: star5112

In the second half of the 10 weeks, there were lots of functions at work and a busy social life, and Tina over indulges with both the sweet & fatty foods and the wine.

At the end of the 10 weeks Tina is feeling positive as she has lost 2kgs, and is confident that she can continue to lose weight. Tina knows that she has what it takes to get her goal weight of 70kgs eventually.

Positive Focuser - Fiona
Fiona joins the same Forever Change gym the day after the triplets make their pact to lose 6kg. Fiona wastes no time and does her first weight session the same day she joins up. Fiona gets annoyed when she has to wait for some of the machines and equipment, and after a few weeks she also finds most of the exercises boring. Fiona tries most of the classes on offer and doesn’t like the music they use in the cycle class, and feels she looks silly wearing the huge gloves in the boxing classes. Despite all this, Fiona grits her teeth and exercises hard and consistently does a work out 5 days per week at the gym without fail.

Fiona eats six small meals a day with a healthy combination of protein, carbohydrates and good fats with lots of fresh vegetables and fruit. Fiona gets sick of eating so many vegies everyday but perseveres as she knows that they are so good for her. Fiona really misses her daily chocolate muffin for morning tea and her 2 glasses of wine each night at dinner. Fiona restricts herself to 3 glasses of wine per week but feels she is missing out most of the time. Why can’t she have her cake and eat it too?

Fiona can’t believe the unfairness of it all. Her husband has a custard tart for morning tea and a pie with sauce for lunch most days and 2 glasses of wine with his dinner and never seems to put on weight – how unfair. She whinges to the women at work about it and they commiserate and share their similar stories with her.

photo credit: mivanov

At the end of the 10 weeks Fiona wants to see how much weight she has lost and knows she will be disappointed if she hasn’t reached her goal as she had to make huge sacrifices by getting up early to go to the gym and missing out on the things she loved over the 10 weeks.

Fiona is relieved to find that she has lost 6.5 kgs. Fiona worked hard to lose that weight and wants to savour her achievement, so she decides to have a 6 week break before resuming her weight loss journey. Fiona is still committed to her goal of 70kgs, but is hoping the next part of her journey is going to be easier and quicker.

Both Positive Thinker and Positive Focuser - Betty
Betty joins the Forever Change gym the same day as Fiona and gets started with her exercise immediately. Betty has researched the health benefits of exercising and commits to exercising 5 days a week at the gym. Betty keeps a training dairy and writes something positive in her diary after each workout. Betty found the music in the cycle class a bit weird initially but soon learnt to use it to motivate her to push harder by trying to keep up with the beat of the music.

By week 3, Betty is inspired by her progress and enjoys the positive environment in the gym and eagerly looks forward to each gym visit. By week 5 Betty has made huge improvements in her speed on the treadmill and rewards herself with a new pair of shoes she has been wanting to buy for a while.

Betty realised from the outset that she would have to give up her morning ritual of a chocolate muffin each day and her 2 glasses of wine each night. Betty does some research and comes up with a list of 20 different healthy snacks that include food that she likes that she can have instead of her chocolate muffin. Betty enjoys having a variety of different morning tea snacks and hardly misses her chocolate muffin.

photo credit: adactio

Betty decides to have three glasses of wine per week and is looking forward to seeing her skin and eyes become clearer by reducing from 14 glasses of wine per week to 3. At the 5 week mark, Betty is pleasantly surprised to find that there are other benefits to reducing her wine intake such as sleeping better.  The money Betty would have spent on wine has gone into a money box to spend on a relaxing massage.

At the end of the 10 weeks Betty looks back over her training diary and is so proud of herself as she has gone to the gym 5 times a week without fail and has learnt so much about the benefits of exercise. Betty has also found lots of fantastic healthy recipes that she has used along the way so that she never got bored with all of the vegies and other healthy foods she ate.

Betty jumps on the scales and is delighted to see that she has lost 6.5kg over the 10 weeks. Betty is already looking forward to the next part of her weight loss journey, and has decided that when she gets to 70kg she will celebrate with a new dress and a new hair style. Betty reflects on her achievements and starts thinking ahead to what she is capable of achieving. Betty knows that she can go even further than the original goal of 70kg and decides to change her ultimate goal to 65kg. Betty can hardly wait to show off her new figure in a new pair of jeans.

So what have we learnt from this tale of the triplets?

First a quick recap:
Triplets Tina, Fiona and Betty started out at 86kg. The short term goal the triplets set was to lose 6kg in 10 weeks. They also had a long term goal of getting their weight down to 70kg.

Each of the women were fairly positive but in different ways. Tina was the positive thinker, Fiona the positive focuser and Betty was both a positive thinker and positive focuser.

Results
In terms of results it was a tie between Fiona and Betty. They both lost 6.5kgs.

Tina got someway towards her goal, as she lost 2kgs, but her results were a lot less impressive than Fiona and Betty’s. Although Tina was thinking positive thoughts most of the time she was hot and cold in the “doing” department throughout the 10 weeks. She got distracted from her goal a few times and her commitment to exercise fell away when other areas of her life got busy. Tina was not consistent with her healthy eating either.

Fiona and Betty on the other hand stayed focused on their goal. They knew what they had to do and stuck to it. The only difference was Betty enjoyed the journey, whereas Fiona didn’t.

Two Final Points Relating to Achieving Goals in General
1. If your thoughts are not always positive as you move towards your goal, don’t worry because if you keep moving you can still achieve your goal.

2. Keep finding things to appreciate as you stay focused and travel towards your goal. With positive thinking and positive focussing you can get to where you want and enjoy the journey along the way.

One more thing before I sign off….

The first person to comment on what is unusual about the photo at the start of the story will get a copy of the Forever Change Secret and a free link to their blog in my next post.

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27 Comments so far

Tara September 18, 2008 12:18 am

The only way I can achieve my goals is to not set myself too many! Seriously, I’m the person who has to make lists about making lists or else I will forget my lists!
Four people in the photo = quads.

Taras last blog post..Wordless Wednesday: Black Boxes
Cath Lawson September 18, 2008 2:34 am

Hi Leanne - those berries look good. I’ve slipped off my diet plan since getting back off vacation. This is a good reminder that thinking positively about the benefits to stick to it is not enough, I’ve also got to focus positively too. Thanks.
Leanne September 18, 2008 6:35 am

Hi Tara – Welcome to Forever Change
I love having intelligent people come and visit my blog – yes there are 4 people in the photo. Your “prize” is a DIY. The Forever Change Secret is my last blog post you can collect it for yourself and the link – well you can send me a few words about your blog and I will include on my next post. Who said I didn’t provide great service?

Hi Cath
That’s right you need to do both….and you can start TODAY!!
Marelisa September 18, 2008 8:34 am

Hi Leanne: I had never thought of it in these terms before but it does make a lot of sense. The first one had a great attitude but didn’t have a plan on how to lose the weight, the second one had a plan but was missing the right attitude, whereas the third had a detailed plan to follow and the right attitude to make sure that she enjoyed herself while carrying out the plan.

Marelisas last blog post..Success - On Your Own Terms
Barbara Swafford September 18, 2008 8:37 am

Hi Leanne,

I like Betty’s attitude. She’s got the right idea, doesn’t she?

I’m not sure what answer you’re looking for, but the story is about triplets and there are four women in the photo.

Barbara Swaffords last blog post..NBOTW - Determined To Be The Best
Leanne September 18, 2008 9:14 pm

Hi Marelisa – Welcome to Forever Change
“I had never thought of it in these terms before but it does make a lot of sense.” Thank you Marelisa. I take this as a huge compliment. One of the aims of this blog is that I present familiar issues for readers, but from a different perspective (and for my writing to make sense too).

Hi Barbara
Yep Betty has got it together, and yes there are 4 women. Stay tuned to find out about the fourth one!!
Lance September 19, 2008 12:02 am

Dang, I’m too slow for the prize…….

This is a great comparison between positive thinking and positive focusing. We hear much about positive thinking, but you bring up an excellent point about our focus. If we lose our focus, we’re not quite as far ahead as we’d have been had we kept a positive focus.

Lances last blog post..Cheerful Wins!
Dave Fowler September 19, 2008 6:35 am

What is unusual about the photo…

Well I’d say you’ve got four women over 50 sitting together and there’s not a bingo card in sight. That’s pretty unusual.

No don’t hate me. It was just a joke. Honest.

I’ve been moving away from my fat loss goal for the last three weeks now. I’ve had a cold and a few other distractions, but I’m determined to get back on track.

Leanne, you presented a nice perspective here. Thank you.
Leanne September 19, 2008 6:39 am

Hi Lance
Glad you liked the comparison. There is a lot of emphasis on positive thinking in the personal development arena and not as much on positive focusing, and I wanted to provide some balance to that whole issue.
Leanne September 19, 2008 6:56 am

Hi Dave
With a comment like that you should be banned from this site! But I will not give you the satisfaction. Instead for your answer about the photo you get second prize, which is 2 copies of the Forever Change Secret…..watch out for the elephants ha ha.

I wish you well with your weight loss Dave. Just do your best to be a non bingo playing male version of Betty and you will do great.
Dave Fowler September 20, 2008 2:53 am

Hahahahahaha. You’re a good sport. I’d hate to get banned from your site, there are so many more poor taste jokes I need to share.

Thanks for the weight loss well wishes. And as for the elephants, there’s only one in my car, and it sits in the driver’s seat. Hehehe.

Dave Fowlers last blog post..Women’s Work: The Hardest Work I’ve Ever Done
Leanne September 20, 2008 5:46 am

Hi Dave
You are welcome here any time with or without your bad taste jokes. (secretly looking forward to hearing more of them them but didn’t want to tell you that in case you got a big head)
Of course you realise that my warped sense of humour may be appearing on your site from time to time…be afraid….be very afraid…….MHAW HA HA (evil laugh)
Dave Fowler September 20, 2008 6:37 pm

I’m just loving that evil laugh. I shall have to develop one of my own!

Dave Fowlers last blog post..My Hands Are Too Big
Leanne September 21, 2008 7:54 am

Not too scary Dave or you will scare the children.
Davina September 21, 2008 12:06 pm

Hi Leanne. I used to believe in positive thinking but the fact is that it really isn’t enough! Setting a goal and reaching it is similar to building a fire. First you have to gather the wood and set it up appropriately, but there will be no fire unless you light a match and feed the flames.

Davinas last blog post..Stepping Out Of These Old Shoes
Leanne September 21, 2008 4:01 pm

Hi Davina
I love the metaphor you used about the fire it was very powerful. (maybe you could even consider doing something along those lines as a blog post?). We get fired up about goals however just having the wood is not enough to get there. All of the necessary ingredients are needed in order to start and keep the fire going.
Dr. Cason September 22, 2008 11:32 am

Nice little story about the triplets. I have a twin and she- in the last year- as toned up incredibly. I need to sit and write what she’s done. You’ve motivated me. And I kept wondering who the 4th person was?
Leanne September 22, 2008 12:49 pm

Hi Dr Cason
Glad you liked the story, I am sure your sister would be an inspiration to many people. As for the fourth person, I will be writing a post about her in the next few weeks. Yes I know this is one of the oldest tricks in the book - creating a sense of anticipation on a blog. I hope you and others will be curious enough to want to come back to find out about the 4th sister.
Davina September 22, 2008 3:44 pm

Hi Leanne. You are right. That would make a good post! I’m just not inspired to write it right now. I’ve written 3 in the last 2 days and am quite exhausted. Guess I’m “burnt out”. Oh, oh, more food for the fire. You go ahead and write this if you feel a spark to… Oh, oh, there I go again.
Davinas last blog post..Stepping Out Of These Old Shoes
Tara September 22, 2008 10:16 pm

I did laugh out loud at Dave’s ‘bingo’ comment - is that wrong?
I am sorry, I will try to atone for my sins . . .

Taras last blog post..Are we raising a generation of wimps?
Leanne September 22, 2008 11:46 pm

Hi Tara
Yes I laughed out loud too at Dave’s comment. Very witty is our Dave. I could picture a Monty Python short sketch when I read his comment.
Matthew Dryden September 24, 2008 3:15 pm

Leanne,

Interesting story. I started working out a few months ago for the first time ever. I’m surprised none of the ladies got a personal trainer to help motivate them. Without mine, I would have been lost and probably would have given up.

There are a few things I’ve noticed about the photo. Only one woman is not wearing any shoes. The photo is also set up to be pretty symmetrical. The two ladies in the middle are both wearing a wider-strap tank top, what seems to be the same necklace, and hats. The two ladies on the outside are wearing tops with strings on them, and sun glasses.

But they all seem to be looking at the one middle-left who is apparently sleeping. Maybe that’s why she didn’t get in on the deal–because she was too unconscious to hear any of the details.

Matthew Drydens last blog post..You Don’t Like Me
Leanne September 24, 2008 8:36 pm

Hi Matthew
Wow your attention to detail is impressive. Now that I have had another look at the photo, I can see what you mean about the symmetry. Interesting what you said about a personal trainer, you clearly have a good level of commitment too as you have been working out for a few months now!
Karen September 25, 2008 1:48 pm

I know, I know …. a little behind the times here with this blog and comment….
This story is a great illustration of ‘doing what you know’ (heard that somewhere recently!!!). Just common sense really … you don’t move or get anywhere without the doing!!!
Keep it up Leanne ….. great to meet you too.
Karen
Leanne September 25, 2008 7:58 pm

Hi Karen
I know how you feel. I am about a week behind in reading some of my favourite blogs etc. It was lovely to meet you on Saturday. Congratulations on your fantastic City to Bay run on Sunday, that was a great culmination of a whole lot of “doing” for you.
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